Raising Bilingual/ Trilingual Kids: 5 Things I Would Do Differently If I Were Starting Over Again in 2025
- Ka Yee Meck
- Mar 14
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 26
Raising bilingual or trilingual kids is an amazing, rewarding journey, but I'll be totally honest—it can be challenging.
Really challenging!
As we step into 2025, I’ve been reflecting on everything we’ve learned in our 9-year journey of raising our children to be trilingual in Chinese, Russian, and English. You can read a blog post I wrote last year reflecting on some of the lessons learnt.
If I were starting over today, what would I do differently?
What lessons have we learned that could make the journey smoother, more effective, and—most importantly—more fun?
In this post, I’ll share 5 key things I would change if I had a baby today.
If you’re just beginning your multilingual parenting journey, these insights will save you time, stress, and frustration!
Table of Contents
1. Have a Strategy and Plan in Place From Day 1
When we were expecting our first child in 2016, we knew we wanted to raise him to be trilingual. But we had no plan, no strategy, and no idea how to make it happen!
A bit of background about us: my husband is Russian, and I’m originally from Hong Kong. I speak both Mandarin and Cantonese, but we weren’t sure which language I should use with our child. We went in completely clueless, and over time, we unknowingly adopted the One Parent One Language (OPOL) strategy.
My husband spoke Russian, I spoke Cantonese, and when our son was two, we introduced Mandarin—which eventually replaced Cantonese altogether. You can read my blog post, in which I discuss my regrets.
Looking back, I regret not having a plan. With hindsight, I truly believe it’s possible to maintain multiple languages if you approach it with an intentional strategy—like the Time and Place strategy, where I could have used Cantonese in certain situations and Mandarin in others.
So, my advice to new parents? Make a plan. It doesn’t need to be rigid, but having a clear direction will help you navigate the early years with confidence.
If you need help, check out my free mini-video course (link below), where I guide you through a simple five-step process to create your family’s language plan!
2. Dial In My Consistency
The second thing I’d do differently?
I would be way more consistent ON MY OWN PART from the start.
Recently, a Canadian dad reached out to me for coaching. He and his wife were expecting their first baby and wanted to start strong. During our session, he said something that really resonated with me: “I’ll have to be really strict with MYSELF!”
Yes! That’s exactly what I would do differently.
While my husband and I broadly followed the OPOL approach, we were not consistent. I’d say about half the time, we spoke to our kids in English. Looking back, I realize that consistency is one of the biggest success factors in raising multilingual kids.
I’ll never forget what a nanny once told me about a family raising trilingual kids in Swedish, German, and English. The Swedish mum never spoke a single word of English to her children—not even once! And, as a result, her kids were perfectly fluent in Swedish.
If you’re starting this journey now, take it from me: be strict with yourself. Focus on your own habits before worrying about what your child is doing.
Your consistency determines their success!
3. Gently Enforce Expectations That the Child Should Reply in the Target Language
At age three, our son understood Russian and Mandarin but would only reply in English.
We decided to change that by implementing a bootcamp-style approach, where we asked him to repeat every English word in Russian or Mandarin.
And it worked! Within three months, he was replying to us in both languages.
You can read about our journey here or watch my video about it.
But looking back, I would do it differently. Instead of waiting until he was three, I would gently encourage him to speak the target language from day one.
How?
Model the correct language instead of explicitly correcting.
Rephrase English responses into the target language.
Use fun reinforcement, like songs, games, and storytelling.
For example, say you're raising your child to be bilingual in Spanish and English. If your child points to a ball and says, “Ball!”, you can respond, “Si, eso es una pelota!” (in Spanish).
This subtle approach sets expectations early and prevents future struggles. By setting expectations EARLY on, you can avoid having to resort to more "extreme" measures further down the road!
4. Be More Relaxed + Enjoy the Process
This might sound paradoxical, but while I’d be more consistent, I’d also be way more relaxed.
In the early years, we were inconsistent and anxious about our son’s progress. Instead, I wish we had:
Trusted the process and avoided stress.
Focused on consistency while enjoying the journey.
Recognized that language learning is a long-term game.
If I were starting over, I’d focus on building good habits early on and then just let the process unfold naturally. Less stress, more joy!
5. Focus More on FUN
Finally, if I were starting over, I’d put way more emphasis on making language learning fun.
I’ve always known that fun and engagement are key, but there were definitely times when I treated teaching like a chore. This led to frustration for both me and my kids. Our breakthrough came when I changed my mindset after reading Ali Abdaal’s Feel Good Productivity.
In practical terms, you can make language more "fun" by incorporating:
Interactive books and storytime.
Songs, audiobooks, and games.
Daily routines that naturally encourage language use.
The result? Less stress, better engagement, and a happier learning environment.
So, to any new parent—keep it fun!
When kids ENJOY the language, they’ll naturally want to use it more.
Key Takeaways
Looking back, there’s so much I’ve learned, and if I were starting my multilingual parenting journey over again in 2025, I’d:
Make a plan from the start.
Be more consistent in my own language use.
Gently encourage my child to reply in the target language early on.
Trust the process and stress less.
Prioritize fun and engagement.
Which of these lessons resonates the most with you? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your story!
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